Seeking a Reliable, Honest & Competent Wordpress Developer with SEO Skills that doesn't disappear ASAP

Hello Webmasters!

Why is it so hard to find a dependable and committed web developer that doesn't go ghost after the 1st few day of instructions without a single notice? Please read thoroughly before replying.

Our team is looking for a skilled Web Developer/Webmaster that has advanced Wordpress theme and plugin customization skills + SEO skills.

Absolutely needs to have a proficient understanding of English instructions. Having intermediate whitehat - greyhat SEO skills is also preferred.

An Ideal candidate should have the following main skills:

- Ability to create a custom Macros calculator form.
- Lots of experience modifying WP plugins/themes.
- Experience with WP custom fields.
- Ability to convert PSD to website.
- Website speed optimization.
- Setting up Newsletter Campaigns with Mail Chimp/Aweber/etc.
- Creating an opt-in funnel. Split-testing.
- Be able to create a custom Macros calculator form, like this one:
- http://macronutrientcalculator.com/
- Experienced in changing WP themes for aged site and making sure no links are broken.

- Be able to create detailed Keyword Research reports.
- PBN/Mini-net creation.
- Building backlinks.
- General SEO related tasks.

- Willingness to learn and work proactively and honestly.
- Ability to Follow instructions, pay attention to details, and meet deadlines.
- Ability to follow instructions. Ask questions if instructions are unclear.
- If I have to continuously remind you more than 3 times to complete a specific task that is a huge red flag.

Looking to hire ASAP part time or full time… someone that is ready to start working right now. Will need to complete a mini-test that will be judged on efficiency and quality.
Hint: Recreate something mentioned above. ;)

If able to complete mini test with flying colors, will then offer you a job and pay you for implementing it onto website. There will be a trial period and the job length will at least be a few months but most likely longer depending on your performance. Please type "yummy" somewhere in your response to be considered AND your AVAILABILITY.

Will also need to be available via Skype. Include your Skype ID as well please.
Also include any resumes or working portfolios if you have any.. which you definitely should have if you meet all of the qualifications listed above. :)

Please note the Salary listed.
Possibility for a pay raise depending on work ethics and productivity.
Also let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks for your interest!
Bobby