In need of a Power BI nerd to visualize everything in my life

Please help.

Need someone experienced in making creative, attractive Power BI visualizations for a small business owner. Should be experienced in (and have solutions for) connecting damn near everything. I have multiple businesses (that are essentially the same, but in different geographic areas) and I need to know how each is doing, and then I have my personal stuff that I need visualized as well.

Google Sheets, Facebook, Google, AWS, bank accounts and more fun stuff.

I will be using this from both mobile and ---------- erested? Send me a portfolio or at least examples of works you have done before.

Do NOT send me a message letting me know you are interested (without a portfolio)
Do NOT send me a message telling me you don't know how to use Power BI but you can be trained.
Do NOT send me a message telling me your life's experience in every field except the one I am hiring for.