Writer with a Great Sense of Humor Needed (Includes Paid Time Off!)

We're currently seeking a full-time writer (35 - 40 hours per week) to write web content for a profane/dark humor niche website. Topics include keywords related to greeting cards, gifts, and general profane/dark humor pop culture such as...

"25 Inappropriate Birthday Cards"
"38 Funny Thank You Cards"
"The 17 Best Dark Humor TV Shows"
Etc...

These are "listicle" format articles that typically link to various products for our brand and others, but will sometimes be "pop culture" guides as demonstrated by the third example above, which may turn the reader onto shows like Rick & Morty, Solar Opposites, Archer, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, etc.

We're seeking candidates who can write at least three well-researched articles per week (1,500 words minimum each), and potentially work up to five articles per week over time if you feel it's sustainable to do so without burning out. Once you've settled into the role, these articles should take a maximum of 4-5 hours to research & write for any experienced writer.

We will provide the keywords for each article and train you how to write web-optimized content within Shopify if you've never done it before :-)

This role will be VERY secure and stable for any good English writer.

The only skill we absolutely **NEED** someone coming into this position to have is to be a strong English writer. You need to be able to research, draft, and proofread/edit your own work. We can teach you everything else, and we will help you grow & develop A LOT as a writer regardless of your past experience.

A little about us: We're a profane/dark humor greeting card company that's managed remote teams for almost seven years now, and we truly care about and value our tea ---------- mbers. Without good tea ---------- mbers, we wouldn't have the businesses we have today — we take care of our tea ---------- mbers accordingly.

Anyone I've personally hired who didn't mislead or misrepresent their skills during the interview process has worked with me for several years at a minimum, and we've always ended on good terms whenever we ultimately part ways.

We mentor our tea ---------- mbers and teach them skills that they can someday use to build their own internet marketing / blogging business, should they choose to take that path in the future.

We look forward to meeting all qualified candidates during the interview process soon.

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Position Highlights:

• Includes 10 days paid time off (PTO) each year.
• Job security: no matter what happens in the economy, we will ALWAYS have work for honest & dependable writers.
• Flexible work hours: you set your own work schedule as long as you're achieving your quota each week.
• You will learn a great deal about internet marketing in this position, and be mentored by a 16-year internet marketing veteran as you research and write these guides.
• Generous end-of-year bonuses for dependable tea ---------- mbers who consistently work hard and fulfill their responsibilities.
• Work is for a long-term employer: All of my dependable Filipino tea ---------- mbers have worked for me at least 2-3 years, and I work hard to be a good employer and manager.

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Position Requirements:

• Above all else: ---------- veral of my OnlineJobs.ph hires have been... less than honest, but any honest tea ---------- mber I interview and hire has worked for me for years.
• Complete English fluency and a strong command of written English. Ideally, a writer's voice that's not too "stiff".
• An outstanding sense of humor, ideally with an affinity for profanity and dark humor.
• Strong research & analysis skills.
• A minimum typing speed of 30 WPM. 70+ WPM would be even better.
• A reliable computer.
• A dependable high-speed internet connection that will ensure you don't miss work regularly due to internet or power issues.
• The ability to have weekly calls as you settle in, which will be reduced to monthly calls over time — preferably video but audio-only is also fine.
• A willingness to log your hours using Hubstaff or similar time / productivity trackers.
• The ability to proofread and edit your own writing.
• A TransferWise account that I can use to pay you twice monthly (1st & 15th of every month).

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask with your application. Our start date could be as early as immediately (ideal) or as late as 4-6 weeks out, if necessary.

Any article containing duplicate content or content that's not completely original (rewritten from another source, drafted using artificial intelligence software, etc.) will be grounds for immediate termination. We need all content researched & written from scratch — your goal should be to help the reader, not crank out articles as quickly as possible.

Please make an effort to stand out with your application (it won't go unappreciated if you're qualified for this position) — I'll be receiving a lot of them, and it's a good way for me to know who's actually starting this relationship off on the right foot :-)

Thank you for taking the time to review this application, and I look forward to working with one of you soon!