Create Fun, Silly, eBooks or Small Knick-Knacks for Dog Poo Bag Site

Hey guys I'm launching a site and will need several things done for writing. I need someone who can create fun content around dog poop (yup, I said that). Our company sends subscription poo bags to monthly subscribers and we're looking to create some sort of unique, fun booklet or flyer or whatever to include them to be fun, but also a little educational (probably just more fun and silly). The more creative the better and we are open to different types of content or types of content (little pamphlet, booklet, packaging, etc.).
We need someone that can come up w/ the fun copy (designs are a plus) in order to do this.

Personality and humor is a must as this is clearly not a dry subject and it's intended to be funny.

Eventually, we will need someone to do our blogging as well.