Degen CEO Needs an Enforcer / Executor. No Polite Softies. (chief of staff / EA X PA to founder)

My sht is literally on fire. 300 unread iMessages, 400 WhatsApps, 30 missed calls, WeChat, IG, FB Messenger, Alibaba, Slack blowing up. Clients, suppliers, friends from 3 weeks ago, fam, all falling through. I’m a NYC founder running a physical biz, an ecom biz, renoing a house, flying 20-40x /yr, taking care of my dad, managing China suppliers, and a whole team.

I also like to have fun and be a bit of a degen, good dinners, nice hotels, nights with the boys, leisure + biz trips. I plan, do, and ask for wild things. I’m not a 50 year old exec in bed by 10.

The real mess is the hundred little things in DMs and group chats where people wait on me and I never get to it. I need an enforcer, not a reporter. Intercept, handle what you can, chase people, push vendors, plan dinners, gifts, trips. Only flag what actually needs me. EA and PA, business and personal. If you only do calendars and inboxes, pass.

Three deliverables:
1. Do the work. Chase my contractor, book dinners, source gifts, handle supplier threads. Make me FEEL that I have an enforcer, don’t tell me I have one.
2. Leave a clean SOP and playbook for how my life runs, and how to handle my shit.
3. Help me vet, hire, and onboard the long-term junior who’ll run by that playbook. Could that be you? Possibly. Maybe not.
4. YOU run YOUR onboarding. If I have to design your training plan, wrong person.

Where my last EA failed:
• No gameplan, I wasted weeks onboarding her
• Couldn’t intercept iMessage/WhatsApp/WeChat, just told me what I already knew
• Generic travel and restaurant suggestions, worse than what I’d Google myself
• Broken 1Password, couldn’t work around YubiKey for Gmail Delegation, technical mess
If any of that’s you, don’t apply.

What I want:
• 5+ years EA/ops for founders, not general VA
• You push, follow up, close loops, plan before I ask
• Serious points and travel hacks. Layovers, itineraries, finding gems abroad
• You know how to find and book what’s popping. Resy, Infatuation, concierge connects, industry newsletters. If I’m in Tokyo next week, you know where we’re eating
• Real hotel/restaurant/itinerary taste
• Opinionated, thick skin
• 1Password Teams + Gmail Delegation with YubiKey, you know the clicks
• Real bandwidth, not a side project on top of 4 other clients

What I don’t want:
• VAs waiting for instructions
• Agency placements with a junior from someone’s bench
• Anyone who needs me to design their onboarding
• Anyone who sends summaries instead of handling things

Scope: 4-6 weeks. Week 1 learn me and start executing. Weeks 2-4 run the playbook. Last stretch, onboard the junior. Propose your price. Work together after? Maybe. Maybe not.


Answer 3 qs:
1. Why you? Not a polished paragraph about “seamless partnership.” 7-9 sentences, human writing, like we wrote 3 years ago.

2. Send 2 screenshots of group chats or WhatsApp threads in your phone right now (redact names) that show the kind of shit you handle.

3. Name 3 bars, lounges, or restaurants in NYC that are trendy, sexy, hard to get into right now. Then name 3 a mid-level EA would confidently recommend that are actually played out or mid. Explain the difference. If you’re using AI on this, I guarantee your answer is cooked before you started.

Heads up: I write copy with AI all day, it’s literally my business. If your answers aren’t by hand, don’t bother.

If answers are good, we schedule a call.