Rock star Virtual Assistant required for eCommerce business

Looking for a super VA with Excellent spoken and written english skills, a strong work ethic, attention to detail, courage to take on new challenges and the hunger to learn new things. If that's you please read along. We are just starting out with our ecommerce (Amazon, Ebay, Shopify) business and looking for a super star VA to help with the following:

MUST HAVE:
1. Quick learner
2. Strong work ethic
3. Excellent spoken and written english
4. Online Product Research
5. Email Customer Service

NICE TO HAVE:
1. Photoshop or Illustrator editing
2. Video Editing
3. Wordpress or Shopify configuration experience
4. Copywriting experience

A successful candidate will have If you possess the above skills, please apply. You must have a laptop and a reliable internet connection. Please include a picture of a pink Volkswagen beetle with eyelashes on top of headlights, your past experience and your expected salary per month in your reply. The work timings are negotiable.