Are you trying to hire Tony Stark for $1.25/hr? Ain’t gonna happen.

Hunker down, folks. I’m going to “all-caps” yell in this post.

Every employer who registers with OnlineJobs.ph wants to hire the “perfect candidate.” But there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about it.

Ironmann

 

Last week I received two emails that basically made me want to poke my eyes out. They came from two different employers, but the contents were essentially the same.

Both employers had sent me their OnlineJobs.ph job posts for review. Both wanted to hire the “perfect candidate.” Both made a very specific list of skill requirements/expectations. Both were also so incredulous they made me laugh out loud. I’ll share one of them with you.

Exhibit A: the wrong way to find the “perfect fit” employee (this is an actual job post):

Web Designer with Jaw Dropping Skills and Internet marketing experience needed

1. This person must have impeccable integrity- honest & naturally of good humor. You can’t be someone who lashes out and gets pissy or vengeful.

2 This person must have studied the Fibonachi code and it’s application be resoundingly obvious in their design portfolio.

3. Currently I have two WordPress websites. The Payeezy plug in has not been properly configured. This must be resolved immediately, and a conversation with the Payeezy developer may be needed. Both sites must be functional asap.

4. We have an app which will require attention as I continue to roll out products.

5. I’m finishing editing my first book this month. You may need to work with the publisher to supply corporate branding items.

6. If you can help me develop webinars because you have experience, I’d really appreciate it.

7. I have an idea for an affiliate program. It’ll need to be built. printed marketing material developed.

8. We need Click Funnels/ landing pages/sales pages built with corporate branding.

9. I am studying how to construct the marketing strategy for these products, and create the most effective content, but I really don’t have a clue how to handle the technical side, so I prefer someone who has SUCCESSFUL experience with this.

10. We will do Facebook Ads- You have to be on your game about this. I don’t mind paying an expert a commensurate salary, but if you have to study a lot to learn how to do this, the pay rate will be lower.

11. I want somebody with a fantastic eye for design so that our feminine look and feel is balanced with the masculine and does not cause my print marketing material to become obsolete.

12. Someone who is into spirituality and open minded is the best candidate.
Please look over my work before applying.

If you’re not excited about this being a good fit, then I don’t want to interview you.

We’re paying $200-$250/month

Soooo let me get this straight: you’re looking for an incredible designer, programmer, writer, webmaster, advertiser who is spiritual, experienced in internet marketing, and who can run your business for you.

AND YOU WANT TO PAY THEM $200/MONTH?!?

Yeah….that’s IronMan.

You won’t find him on OnlineJobs.ph. Or anywhere else for that matter. Because he or she doesn’t exist.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re hiring locally or overseas:

Writers aren’t programmers.

Designers aren’t Facebook advertisers.

Video editors aren’t internet marketers.

And if they were, they sure as heck wouldn’t be working for you for $1.25/hr.

It’s completely unrealistic to look for 3+ completely different skills in the same person. It IS possible to find someone with experience in a couple of these skills, but NOBODY is an expert in all this stuff.

sp busy

Are you guilty of the above offense? Have you essentially tried to hire one person to operate an entire corporation on their first day? If so, we need to revisit outsourcing 101.

Start simply. You CAN eventually replace yourself with a handful of Filipino virtual workers, but not if you skip the first step:

Identify the #1 idea you want to implement in your business. Then hire ONE Filipino worker to do that ONE thing.

And then, once your worker becomes an expert in that ONE task, you can train/guide them to perfect another task in their field of expertise. And another task, and another. It’s a process and it takes time.

So stop being ridiculous and hire ONE person to do ONE thing to begin. Compensate your workers according to their experience and performance. Patiently teach and train your workers. And hire more workers as needed (you’re paying a fraction of what you’d pay a local worker; you can afford a copywriter AND a programmer for crying out loud.)

And please don’t send me job posts that make me want to poke my eyes out.

Now post your job!

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